Turtle  Dreaming

by Tania Canibear

 

Moli was dreaming. Swimming in the wake of the big, beautiful sea turtle he was wrapped in ocean currents and his body was flexuous and molten in the sea's embrace. The turtle was flying,  freestyling its great flippers through the water,  beat after graceful beat. Moli could see its intricate patterned shell shinning and aglow with light from above.

 

Turtle am I

Oceans like the sky

 

sang the turtle and it dove suddenly deeper, folding its water wings against its body,

 

The Dreamer am I

A vast creation do I fly

 

And the water layered here was cooler, and they swum on,

 

The Dream I am

I Dream what I become

 

And becoming is a joy

 

For I am and become

                 as one.

 

Once more the turtle propelled upwards, parting the water before it . Moli realized he was not alone now. Many people swam around him, following the turtle. Where were they all going?  Where was he going he wondered. He felt they swam with him. Somehow they were together in feeling as they swam.

 

Making the path ahead was the turtle,  serenely swimming on.

                                                  ...........

 

 

Moli woke up suddenly, greeted by his familiar room and the light of a new day. He could not remember what he was dreaming about before he woke up. Before the familiarity of the space around him washed his memory completely clean he tried to remember! Oh, but nothing surfaced. He felt frustrated because what he had forgotten was important! He knew this much!

 

Rolling out of bed and dropping feet to the floor he drifted out to breakfast.

 

" Moli, come have some cereal please, your brothers have already left for school so you need to hurry,"  spoke his mum as Moli emerged into the kitchen.

 

School! now he remembered what his life would be today, bus, school, soccer in the playground.   He still couldnt remember the other thing though.

 

 

 

Once at school he flowed with the tide of other children to class,

 

" Moli !  Hey, Moli wait! " 

Moli's friend Jackson ran up beside him.

 

" I was calling from way down the hall! Whats up? Did you get up late?" asked Jackson

 

" Got up late, scoffed breakfast, but here I am," answered Moli.

 

" What about we go to the treehouse after school?  We could make the platform bigger with the wood we have left. " Jackson said enthusiastically, studying Moli's face.

 

" We could. Is Will coming?" said Moli

 

" Sure.  Moli, your not really excited about going," Jackson observed.

 

" Oh, sorry. I have forgotten something, but I really want to remember what it was. Its important, but what was it? It is like today is not like yesterday because I nearly knew this "something" , but then I forgot it. Do you see? "  Moli wondered.

 

By the puzzled look on Jackson's face,  no, he didn't 'see'.

 

" Moli, I dont know what you mean. Your talking in riddles. Come to the treehouse, it will be fun!" continued Jackson

 

"Sure, I am coming, " replied Moli  and they veered together into their classroom.

 

The afternoon saw the friends making their way to the park close to the sea cliffs and a piece of unused land close by. The park was blanketed in emerald green grass with big, old trees gracing the lawn. The boys wandered in and out of the leaf patterned shade, heading across to their treehouse beyond the park.

 

The tree hosting the house was a large sprawling fig with deep shade and many spreading branches. There were four boys , and they were busy with looking and climbing and testing out a new plan for an 'extension'. Moli helped and soon a larger platform was emerging. From the treehouse there was a wide view of the sea and beach below where the boys had spent many days watching the ocean and its under water life and the birds who flew above.

 

" Are the dolphins here today?" asked Will as they sat together now having a break from building.

 

" Not that I can see, but there are some dark shapes in the water to the right there, do you see?"  said Moli

 

" Yeh, maybe they are sharks!"  answered Will

 

" Or turtles!  Maybe the turtles have come ," said Runi, the other friend.

 

" You know, I might go down and see," said Moli " The treehouse looks good! See you tomorrow !"

 

Moli scrambled down the tree trunk and trotted towards the path to the beach. He was underneath quite sad. The colors of the world seemed to have drained away somehow. What he saw today was not what he saw yesterday. Maybe it was he who had changed, he thought. Where were his colors then?

 

The sea breeze swirled Moli's hair around and ruffled his shirt in undulations as he emerged from the path to the beach. Now the waves were loud and beat strongly in his ears with their rhythm.  Night and day they rolled and swelled with life. All of his day before this moment seemed to melt away and only the wave's beat remained. And his sadness lifted.

 

Sinking into the fine sand he meandered towards the rocks on the point. Gazing into the little crystal clear rock pools he hopped between the higher rocks. They were like little mirrors for the sky above. He would try to look and see what was living in the pools but sometimes he would only see his own face reflected and the sheen of sky and cloud above. My face,  Moli thought,  what can I see in my face.  He stood up and skipped down off the rocks back onto the sand. The beach here was more sheltered and the waves came in slow sinuous swells.  Moli climbed up the dunes a little and sat down. Cradling his legs with his arms he rested his head on his knees and closed his eyes. The softer lap of the waves here were soothing and he rested inwardly, just being and feeling the life around him. He turned his head for a moment and opened his eyes,  the sight of the world around him had grown intense in those few moments. There was love for the waves and sand so strong that he closed his eyes again. A big wave rose within him and as it broke a fine filtering of gold and silver filaments melted into his body.

 

Slowly he opened his eyes to the world again and he looked. The colors were so vibrant in all that he saw around himself. He looked out to sea and there not too far from the shore was a dark shape in the water.  He shaded his eyes. It was a Turtle!  Moli could see the glimmer from its patterned shell and saw its rowing flippers. He gazed a long time at the turtle , following its movement until it swam into the deeper water and was lost to sight.

 

Moli closed his eyes again .  His inner dark embraced him.  Then the Turtle appeared . He saw it inside himself.  Its gentle eye and soft under skin, its light glazed beautiful shell.

And swimming behind the turtle was himself !  Neither was he alone but emerging from the water shadows were many people swimming.

 

" Moli, do you remember?" asked the Turtle.

 

Moli did not know what to say.

 

" Moli, do you remember what it was like?" the Turtle asked again turning its head back towards him and looking into his eyes.

 

" For such a long time you have forgotten," the turtle said with a long slow glide of his flippers.

 

" Do you remember how to feel. How to feel and connect. Feeling, connecting and loving the movement in your heart and self this brings. You did..... and it brought you here. And your ancestors are here too. Moli ?"

 

" I did ? "  said Moli

 

 

" Yes.  You are my Brother. We are swimming because there is something we can do together."

 

" Together?  " asked Moli

 

" Yes. Come up beside me,"  called the turtle.

 

Moli swam up alongside the big turtle. He now looked ahead where before he followed the turtle's lead. Looking closely, there reflected in the turtle's eye was the Earth's swirling globe with many rainbow colors flaring from its surface.

 

"Where are we, Turtle?"

 

"Oh well, it is hard to say where exactly. We are within, in an ocean and this ocean circles the Earth."

 

"Turtle, the light is fading in the water, its getting darker around me," said Moli wondering what was happening " Its like the water is getting sticky. I just don't feel like swimming anymore. But before I swam so easily."

 

" Yes, I see. Well Moli you can come again another time if you wish. Come we will go to the surface and part there."

 

Moli considered this, as he felt his legs get heavier and heavier.

 

"But Turtle, I dont want to go. I want to swim as before. We were going to do something together," said Moli, feeling a surge of strength and Moli saw the darkness begin to melt a little as it pressed against his skin and a flicker of light push into the dark and infuse into  it.

 

" That's good Moli," encouraged the turtle

 

"Something wants to stop me swimming, doesn't it Turtle!"

 

" Yes..... what is it Moli, can you see it?"

 

"Its like I see myself wearing a big coat, I couldn't see it before as it looked like my skin,  but now I do see it and its so heavy. I want to take it off but then something says 'No, don't do that, you will be so cold without it, you will need the coat again, keep it.' Then the coat kind of clutches at me and I am afraid."

 

" You can take it off Moli. Is that what you want?"  said the Turtle

 

"Yes, I want to. But how?  I pull at it but its stuck on me."

 

" It was a part of you, Moli but now you are ready to change and be different and take it off. Call down Language of Light bubbles from the surface. "

 

Moli looked up through the depth of water above himself and spoke the request

 

Soon a cascade of bubbles floated down. Filled with swirling pinks and gold, yellows, turquoise, peach and silver that were translucent  and within were symbols too that spun and danced.

Moli reached  his hand to a bubble and cupped a dancing symbol in his hand that spun like a flame . Ever so slowly he drew it towards his face, balanced upon his palm and it lit his face with a glowing caress.

 

" Ask it Moli to begin to dissolve the coat. That symbol is Non-conditional Love within your hand.  Maybe somewhere in the coat there is a thought woven in that might say " I will love you but you must be what I want you to be."  Maybe you didn't even know those thoughts were there but they were. And they will speak their words even if you don't want them to. Do you want that Moli, for these thoughts to speak for you."

 

" No, Turtle, I want to speak what I really want to say."

 

" Yes and so you will."  The Turtle directed another symbol with his nose and softly blew it towards Moli.  " This is Forgiveness, and is the first symbol. When you forgive all changes and moves and the pain dissolves.'

 

From behind the Turtle and Boy came a man swimming. He joined them.

 

" I know I have contributed to making this coat. I see a shade of my life there. I want to forgive too. I want to forgive and melt what I had not forgiven in my life. I am here to do this with you Moli." said Moli's ancestor.

 

Moli looked at the man and wondered ' He remembers about a part of me? We are like a part of each other?' Moli thought.

 

" Intend it so Moli if this is what you wish to do," said Turtle

 

And with Moli's thought the forgiveness tone moved into the coat, through all of its layers. The fibers stretched apart, letting go of each other and suddenly the coat burst into flames and drifted free of Moli until as it sank down all trace of it dissolved. And so too the heaviness lifted from Moli's body.

 

" Each day you may find something else to forgive, to let go of and then on you swim, your own power returning to your body as it has now, Moli." said Turtle,

 

"Turtle, my heart is full as you have helped me to remember.  Thank you turtle."

 

" Soon all will remember in the times ahead," spoke Turtle

 

Turtle circled then swam through the Language of Light bubbles, swirling them in glowing water curls and all followed. The vivid blue depths of the sea offered to awash with peace that which strained with tension and fear,  to melt the body into a wave. And so from behind them moved a current that Moli felt push to him, through him and gather. Once again those who swam had grown in number. Many kingdoms swam with them.  Elephant, wolf, horse, dolphin, whale, spider, frog, birds of many kinds, insects of the earth, bear, many more... and the creatures of the sea. As One, they swelled and lifted into a curling wave, became the wave. Beside Moli padded wolf on the water crest, wolf's eyes intent upon what was ahead, taking strides that would not tire.

 

" Speak now Moli. Speak your words of love into the wave unsaid by generations of your ancestors for we rise together to heal. This wave circles the Earth, " said Wolf.

 

Moli was holding his breath but with wolf's words he let it out and took a breathe long and full and feeling flowed.

 

The wave curled over and with all kingdoms creating the flow and foamed into a myriad of effervescent bubbles. Moli surfed on in the wash and to his surprise his feet touched sand and then his body pushed up onto a beach, the water washing back into the sea. Turtle had glided in beside him onto the beach too. Moli hardly knew what had just happened. He lifted himself to his feet, dripping silver droplets of water.

 

" Turtle, what happened....and where did all the people and creatures go!"  Moli asked, sweeping a searching look over the water and beach.

 

" They have not gone, just stepped out of view for a moment, Moli. The waves of the Earth and all kingdoms grow strong, as you just felt. We all push to the new times ahead that will be of a peace not felt for long ages. The kingdoms move with fervent desire to bring it to being, and you Moli are a part of the surge."

 

Moli felt his skin to be like the sand of the beach, soaked and scoured by the ocean with no resistance to each drenching wave. What a lightness this brought to him.

 

"  Moli, we will rest here on the edge of the world and bathe in the sun."

 

Turtle pushed forward over the sand to the higher, dry part of the beach and rested its head, closing his soft eyes. Moli joined the turtle, splaying himself upon the sand allowing the infused warmth to embrace him. And the beach hummed to him in soft tones of thought that moved without the need to embed in anything . They lay a long time, yet it could have been but a moment.

 

A little spray of sand fell on Moli's arm. He looked up. To his side stood a wolf, now looking into his eyes. Moli sat up and the wolf stepped back a pace and sat back upon his haunches.

 

" Rested, Moli?"  enquired the wolf.

" Yes. I have limbs of fire now." Moli said.

" You do? Such good timing!" laughed the wolf, "Fire in your body will be what you need on the journey I invite you on !"  said Wolf.

 

Moli studyed the wolf for a time,

" Where are you going, Wolf." asked Moli.

" Well that is hard to say, for if you come the journey will be different than if I went alone. Do you wish to come? "

 

" I .. well.. Turtle is here with me..."

 

" Go as your heart tells you Moli,' said Turtle ' My path is back to the sea !"

 

" Thank you, Turtle.... for our journey"

 

" I and all kingdoms will share in your lessons ahead !" said Turtle and back to the lapping water strove Turtle till the waves caught and lifted its body, and so Turtle was gone.

 

" Well now, we go together then ! I see you are ready to step it out with Wolf. Ahh look Turtle watches us from the sea!"

 

And there bobbed turtle's head a moment or two.

 

" There is another to join you, Moli, Wolf. " spoke Turtle.

Then from the sea emerged a person, a child in fact. A girl dripping rivulets of water down to the sand. She stood for a moment then came up to them. Moli looked . He thought, as the girl stood before him, that if he were a girl he would look just like this girl !

 

" Meet Kesi, Moli, " said Wolf, " She comes with us... did you forget her, Moli," spoke wolf softly.

The two children looked at wolf, not quite understanding.

 

" Well, you will remember, I am sure. Kesi if you are ready we will find the path off the beach now." urged wolf

 

Squeezing the water from her hair, Kesi nodded, " I could run on like the wave that brought me here! "  she said.

 

" Ha! so we shall!" wolf pivoted on his hind legs as he said this and trotted to the bordering trees, the children following.

 

The brilliant light of the beach cooled to shade beneath the trees beyond as they wove a way forward. Yet the border of trees did not last for the little group emerged out on to the edge of a vast plain ahead, billowing with a sea of grass.

 

" Well children, here we will flow on. Ready to run?" Wolf questioned.

 

Both children nodded and they began the crossing of the plain on either side of wolf, trotting at his side. The breeze gusted up through the scented grass into their faces and lifted their strides.

 

"It is a long way to cross the plain children, is it not? " asked Wolf

 

" Why do we cross it, Wolf?" asked Kesi

" Well to do this together, as we are, will create something." said Wolf, " Not just sore feet!"

 

" My feet dont hurt yet, but my arm feels numb, " said Moli

 

" Oh?" said wolf " Kesi would you mind holding Moli's hand in the air till the feeling comes back into his arm? "

 

Kesi looked at Wolf, but as asked she came around to Moli and with her arm straight she  braced his hand in the air as they ran. They both began to laugh, so sure that it must look pretty funny to see what they were doing and it felt a bit strange too. They ran on.

 

" Oww!" said Kesi "Oh, my side hurts now, I have had my hand in the air too long!"

 

"Well, Moli can you link your other arm with Kesi's and help her run ?" Wolf said.

 

And so they tried this. They tried to match their strides but one off beat and Moli tripped, somersaulting forward to the ground. Rolling back up into a sitting position , he giggled

" This doesnt seem to be working! "

And they were all laughing now.

 

 

 They did not notice a person approach on a horse from the west.

" Hello!, I was watching you as I walked this way and thought maybe it would help if I offered one of the children a ride. We could meet you where you plan to go." suggested the lady.

" What do you think children?" asked wolf,

 

" My side is sore, Wolf. I will only slow you down now. Maybe I should just meet you on the other side of the plain by taking the offer, " said Kesi.

'' That might be better, Wolf. Its a long way for Kesi.....now that she has hurt herself" agreed Moli.

 

" Yes," said Wolf " the choice is yours, children."

" O.K, I will go then," Kesi turned to the lady , " Thank you, I will accept your kind offer."

 

The lady helped Kesi up onto the horse and as they left Kesi waved goodbye.

 

" Time to go then, Moli" urged Wolf

But Moli could not now turn away from Kesi and the lady riding away.

" Moli, off we go."

Moli turned this time to come but his knees weakened from under him and he fell to the ground. He could not get up either when he tried. 

 

" Wolf, Kesi does not know where to go, we had not decided that yet. She will be lost." he said, confused and concerned. " And now I cant even walk! Whats going on!."

 

Wolf slowly came over to Moli's side.

" Moli, Kesi is .....you cannot run without Kesi,  not any further anyway. Together you can learn to run, but apart you will stumble, a lot!" explained wolf.

 

" Wolf, but she is gone!" exclaimed Moli.

" No not gone, just going ! Call her back, Moli, she will hear you."

 

Moli concentrated and called in his mind. They waited, for what seemed like a long time. All around the wind gathered the grass into sighs and breathes.

 

 

" Moli, Wolf!  I dont even know where to go so it is no use me going without you!" called Kesi as she and the lady came into view.

" Dont you think?" Kesi said and jumped down from the horse. She looked at Moli, " Resting are you Moli?"

 

"Well yes," and Moli stood up " I was."

 

"Thank you anyway," Kesi spoke to the lady and off she rode.

 

Wolf sprung in the air with a flick of his long tail, and he danced around the two children with  playful leaps and crouches.

" So! here we are then!"

" Ready to go are we?" said the children, mimicking Wolf

" Well said!" Wolf replied, " I do believe we are!"

"See if you can run like this, Moli !" Kesi joked. She bounded off, first with giant strides then swerving this way and that then with a run and a leap. Laughing Moli tried to follow. Catching up to her he took her hand and they jogged along together for a while ,Wolf keeping pace with his loping gait.

 

" You know, this plain isn't as flat as it seems," said Kesi, " Or is it that the grass is getting really tall!"

 

" Getting tall, and not so much like grass anymore," said Moli

 

The grass to the right was above their heads and as they looked it melted into a water like rush and there appeared Turtle, swimming beside them. To their left Wolf bounded, sometimes in view sometimes hidden by the swaying grass. The flow was such that water and grass made a current together that rushed as one.

 

" Wolf, the grassy plain has changed, there is no 'plain' any more !" called Kesi to Wolf

 

" No children, sometimes there is the view ahead to the horizon, sometimes there is not. You are still making the crossing but you're focus is on the rushing life around you before you look to the horizon again. Look how you run in time ! This is good, " observed wolf.

 

" Remember that you are on this journey, Moli, Kesi even when you return to your seat upon the dunes where you found us!," called Turtle " And that we are brothers and sisters" Turtle said.

 

The sky opened up once more and a rainbow spanned the earth so close and clear it dazzled them and they reached out their hands to 'touch' its colors.....

 

 

 

 

Moli opened his eyes. There he was upon the dune still. Light diffused in pinks and peach on the sea- sky horizon as the sun had set. He stood up, raining sand from his clothes and looked about. He picked up a large shell and held it out to the sea.

" Shell, please fill with the sea once more," he said in a quiet voice.

 

He then put it in his pocket, planning to bring it to his ear after he left the beach on his walk home, to listen to the sea once more.

 

Tania Conibear lives downunder in the Canberra region of Australia and is in our Group Mastery program.  Tania can be reached by e-mail at danceofbalance@hotmail.com

 

 

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