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Healing the Inner Family Through Play
(Exploring Energetic and Physical Touch)
This past fall of 2006, SSOA held their annual conclave event in Hawaii on the beautiful garden island of Kauai. I just recently relocated to the island and it was exciting to have an event held so close to where one is living. I was asked by Earth Mother to hold a workshop on “Healing the Inner Family through Play”. When I watched the dream step down over the month prior to the event, I noticed that the ages that were to be addressed and worked on were the very young ones, birth to age two; unlike the workshop held in Jasper in the summer where the children that received the healing were mostly ages two and up.
I had been clearing my karma and patterning up until the event, however there was another layer I needed to transcend and this occurred over the course of the SSOA three week events. Another ascending initiate that came to the events provided the mirror I needed in order for a healing to take place within myself. This allowed me to be better prepared to teach the workshop and I was able to share what I learned with those participants whom attended.
Evening Preparations
I had spent quite a bit of time with this initiate who was very shy and quiet. We had fun together as adults during our interactions, however I would notice my two year old wanted to play with hers but there was some type of force field that would go up in the other initiate field to protect her. I looked at the feelings of my two year old and her thought forms which included “I must be too loud”, “She is afraid of me”, “She does not like me” and so on. I watched my inner child’s reactions to this other initiate in the evenings while hanging out in the pool and hot tub.
The night before the workshop, I felt drawn to openly talk with this initiate about what I was feeling and perceiving. She mirrored a part of myself that was shy, afraid and quiet which was my one year old. Up until now, I had not been able to understand why this part of self felt this way. The walls that went up with this initiate were the same walls that went up within myself when I tried to engage with my own inner one year old.
That evening in the pool and hot tub turned out to be a mini-intensive all within itself. There was much healing that occurred for the both of us and we shared and expressed first from an adult perspective, just looking at the dance, and then from a child perspective where we allowed those parts of ourselves to come out and speak to each other. My two year old was able to ask her one year old all the questions she had, and this initiate’s one year old was able to share how she felt when she was around us. She did not realize it made my two year old feel that way and my two year old was able to understand her inner child through her explanations and the evening’s activities.
They both wanted to play, but this initiate’s one year old did not know how to play. She did not feel safe engaging in the fast activities that my two year old wanted to engage in. She felt safer in nature playing with the bees and the flowers at a slower pace. I realized that my one year old also felt this way and my two year old was finally able to understand this initiate’s inner one year old and was able to create a connection with her own inner one year old sibling.
I decided to take it one step further to see if the two children could actually play together and feel safe. There were many small games that were explored together this evening in the hot tub and pool. The games allowed our young ones to interact with each other and provided the adults with an opportunity to observe how our inner children and energetic body’s reacted to the dance. When this initiate said she would be willing to try some of these exercises/games, a part of me became SO SHY!! It was MY one year old. She came out. She put her hand up to her eyes and hid, and then peeked out and then hid again. So this became our first game, peek-a-boo.
The next game was splashing each other, not big splashes, but little playful ones which allowed us to engage with each other at another level. This was fun for my inner girl. The next level of play was a little bit more intense for many patterns and beads surfaced. My little one and I wanted to try another game but it engaged another in physical contact. This made my one year old very afraid, but we were ready to confront the fear. Touch is such a huge connection with another energetically and this was one area I have been very uncomfortable with in my life; physical as well as energetic touch.
With the peek-a-boo and splash games we played, I stayed connected within myself, grounded in my body, allowing myself to energetically “stay with it” and tracked my comfort level. What occurred in this next game was we decided our little ones would touch pinky fingers. This seemed like a safe activity and it really brought out our little ones. As our fingers neared each other, we were giggling but I noticed I started to loose my connection to my heart and we stopped. After clearing out the fear, we tried it again. When our fingers were about an inch away from each other, I noticed I started to hold my breath and the energetic connection to my finger started to move up my finger. There was fear in the connection and if we were going to engage our fingers physically I compensated by pulling my consciousness and energy from the finger in order not to feel the physical contact.
This “game” turned out to be much work, but after several tries and with the release of many patterns, thought forms/algorithms/beads and emotions, my little one and my adult self were able to touch her little one’s and adult pinky finger and I and my little one stayed in the body, connected to the heart. The energy and consciousness of my little finger also stayed connected in my finger and we were able to make contact with her finger. Touch. I could not hold the physical touch for very long, but at least I was able to accomplish the goal of touching and it was an invaluable experience of learning about my own patterning. The adults thanked each other for the opportunity to explore this issue safely and we went into the pool for our own self reflection.
This experience allowed me to see a deeper level of healing that needed to take place within myself. It also opened my eyes to a bigger energetic dance that occurs when I encounter another. Does my etheric field and consciousness stay in my body? Can I stay connected in the heart region? Do I hold my breath and contract my field when another comes near me or attempts physical contact like a hug? Does my consciousness disengage from my etheric field so I can hide and not feel the energy of another? I addressed many layers of this patterning in this evening and pushed the rest out on drip feed so I could look at it after the events were over. I thank this initiate very much and am grateful to have had the opportunity to explore this dance with someone my inner one year old felt “safe” with.
The Workshop
The next morning was the workshop on “Healing the Inner Family through Play”. There were twelve participants which included some of the anchors. The group was small, but after the healing I experienced the night before, I thought perhaps the healing that was to take place would be deep and those that came were ready to address this next level of healing for their inner little ones, birth to age two.
We all sat in a circle on the floor and introduced ourselves. The adults were not here and it was the little ones whom came out to say hello to everyone in the circle. We waved at each other with our pinkies and toes! You could tell that we did this workshop many times in dreamtime for everyone felt very safe with each other. We all admitted that if the group was any bigger, our inner children probably would not have felt safe to come out and express themselves in such an intimate manner.
Next, we all anchored sacred space by calling in the elements; air, water, fire and earth. The inner children acted out whatever they thought represented them; mountains, rivers, the wind, fire, oceans. We called in the animal kingdoms, large animals, medium animals, small ones, creepy crawlers, flying ones and water kingdom animals. The children all acted them out, gently playing with the kingdoms on their own and in their own play world. Next, we brought in the tree, plant, flower and herb kingdoms; large trees, pines, redwoods fruit trees, bushes, vine plants, flowers, cane grass, wheat fields and all the little creepy crawlers that fly and live amongst them, dragonflies, lady bugs, butterflies and bees. The play was sweet and intimate between the kingdoms and the participants’ little ones, and at the end we all felt safe and nestled in the room, embraced by the love of earth mother and all her kingdoms.
For the next part of the workshop, participants were led on a guided meditation deep into a beautiful forest glade. Their inner family was encouraged to play with the nature kingdoms therein as well as other members in their family. Many children of all ages came out and played with the animals, plants, trees as well as their siblings. The initiates watched those inner children whom remembered the joy in playing and whom remember how to play in unity with all others.
There were also many parts of self that were hiding in the forest behind rocks, plants and trees. These were parts of self that had been fractured off in early childhood from difficult experiences. The participants had the opportunity to rediscover parts of self. They were able to explore the emotions and fears of the wounded children and were able to heal many parts of them in full.
After much release work, these parts of self were invited to come out and play with the other family members. This triggered another layer of many emotions and fears surrounding safety that needed to be released as well. After the healing, some of the hidden children were able to come out and play with their siblings in much joy and unity and eventually they were integrated into the whole.
There were many little ones that were not ready to come out to play but did observe all the healing and play that was taking place. Participants were encouraged to come to this beautiful forest any time they wished to explore the next layers of their patterning and integrate new parts of self in full.
We took a break and came back for the second half of the workshop. Participants were encouraged to bring forth some of their little ones they worked with in the meditation who were ready to experience gentle play and touch. We utilized the activity of “pinky touching” explored with my ascending friend in the hot tub the night before. I shared with them some of my experiences and fears of energetic and physical touch and we all began to explore our own “comfort level” of pinky touching with our own inner family.
First, we held up both of our own pinky fingers and called forth our 0-1 year old. The left hand pinky was for the inner infant girl and the right pinky was for the inner infant boy. We were to explore how these parts of self react to touch and what was their “comfort level” when they put their two fingers together. There were different reactions from the participants; some infants were shy, some afraid, some inner infants did not want to touch each other. Participants were able to identify who was uncomfortable, the little infant boy, girl and were able to talk to their little ones and help them release their hesitation. Then they tried the pinky touch again, and for the most part, participants were able to have their inner boy and girl touch pinkies by the second time.
We did this same exercise for the inner 1-2 year old and the 2-3 and everyone could really identify the comfort level of each child within, both the inner male and female and each explored the feelings and emotions that surfaced from the experience of trying to “connect” energetically and physically through the touch. In was interesting to note that emotions would surface even before the inner girl and boy would touch pinkies for they could “feel” the energetic touch already occurring and this triggered many. Everyone realized just how sensitive their inner family was and how this affects them in their every day life.
Children at the ages of 0-2 and especially 0-1 really are not able to express themselves verbally to their parents, only through the coos, expressions and sounds they make. If you look at the unconscious energetic dance of a non-ascending family, the child really does not have a say in what happens to them. The parent changes the baby, washes them, feeds them, takes them here or there, holds them a certain way, introduces them to a variety of people and so on. Parents often do not take into account that the baby may not like what they are doing to them. Many participants shared experiences from this age and how difficult it must be for little ones who are not able to verbally communicate their wants and wishes and how scarring could occur through uncomfortable physical or energetic touch.
Looking at one’s adult life, there may be situations and circumstances one encounters throughout the day that can be energetically or physically uncomfortable, whether it is talking to someone at work, standing in an elevator or in line at the grocery store next to another, sitting across from another at dinner and looking them in the eyes or even a small physical gesture of hugging another. With the understanding of one’s inner children and the experiences they encountered that were similarly uncomfortable, one can begin to undo the patterning by acknowledging the trauma that may have been experienced and releasing it in full.
The trauma may not have been a physical one at all, but an energetic one where another’s energy pushed its way into one’s inner child’s field and shattered it, hexed, cursed or spelled it or any of the variety of ways one can energetically harm another. By acknowledging this happened to one’s inner family member, one can release the trauma, patterning, emotions and trapped fear-based energy in the field and body and begin to open up to feel more comfortable with physical and energetic encounters.
The last part of the workshop, participants paired up with a partner and explored their “comfort level” with each other, both from an adult and an inner child perspective. Everyone created their own game that was within their inner family’s comfort and safety levels and there was much healing that occurred in a gentle and fun way. Some people explored the pinky touching with each other and others role played various ages. Some people stood next to each other, side by side, not even touching. They allowed themselves to feel whether standing this close felt comfortable or not, and if it was not, what part of their inner family was uncomfortable.
Some discovered that standing on one side of a person felt okay but if they switched sides, they felt uncomfortable and realized that it was an inner male and female dance; maybe their female (left side of the body) felt comfortable next to the male side (right side of the body) but if they switched sides, they started to squirm and feel uncomfortable for now their male side was next to the other person’s female side.
Participants shared freely with their partner the surfacing emotions and explored what age was being triggered. Within the “safe” environment and working with a “safe” partner, they were able to work out their patterning with another and then tried the exercise again to see if they released their inner fears and emotions. Most everybody was able to transcend the pattern and create a safe physical or energetic touch encounter with another. Some ended up changing the exercise so the child triggered or the part of the body that felt uncomfortable could have a safe and enjoyable experience in a different game of energetic and physical touch.
Since conclave and the workshop, I have had a chance to explore my own inner family dynamics and the dance that occurred during my childhood long ago surrounding energetic and physical touch. I am still exploring the dance as well as the ancestral dance associated with myself and my biological family and will have much to share on this topic of energetic and physical touch in the future. I have become more aware of my energetic field and body and how I react around different people. I have also been able to pinpoint key ages in my life where mostly energetic trauma occurred and where it was recorded in the biology and energy field. Through focus and intent, I have been slowly able to release the patterns, algorithms, beads, emotions, karma and the fear stored therein for myself and my ancestry to allow for more peaceful experiences to occur for myself in my body while engaging others.
I enjoy working with my own inner family and have enjoyed working with other ascending initiates in uncovering thought forms and patterns that were created early in one’s childhood. It always amazes me how a circumstance in one’s current life can be traced all the way back to an encounter from one’s earlier years of life as well as an ancestral dance that has been playing out for eons of time. With some searching and the willingness to address all layers in one’s release work, the patterns that have plagued oneself and one’s ancestry can be transcended in full, bringing a sense of mastery to one’s ascension and an empowerment over one’s own life circumstance. If you would like assistance in transcending key patterns in your current life expression, please feel free to contact me at unity.in.community@lycos.com
Many Blessings and a Warm Aloha,
Rhonda
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