Hello, I am Jenny also known as Ahmala. Learning to stand in my truth has become more or less a way of life for me and in the beginning it was not easy. I had lived for so long trying to please or feel accepted by others that I really didn’t know what my truth was. All I knew to do was live a life as defined by others, by the society I lived in and by what was acceptable to others that were important to me at the time.
I grew up surrounded by relatives, I had numerous aunties, uncles, cousins, and all the other extended relationships that were also considered “related”. In my tribe, (Lakota Sioux) everyone was considered related in one way or another. A person could be your
3rd cousin, and still considered a close relative. Whenever I interacted with an elderly I also called them “grandma” or “ grandpa” whether they were my biological grandparents or not and they always accepted me, even if they did not know me. One could say I had many layers of cords of attachment to others out side of myself to my family, relatives, tribe and friends.
All my identity was defined by kinship roles within the family and tribe and by the identity that the dominant larger society allowed me to have in order to operate outside of the tribal setting. On an etheric level there are machines that hold identity programs for each role. I had the role of Jenny oldest daughter and I was hooked up to all the machinery and programming for the “oldest daughter” role. Within the tribe I had a “tribal member” role and was also hooked up the identity machinery that allowed me to interact with all other “tribal members”. For the dominant society, I had another role of “female minority-Native American”, others could then identify me and I could interact within the parameters of a role assigned to me, based on my genetics. For everything that I thought was me or my “truth” there was a set of invisible machinery designed to keep me in the various roles and ultimately to keep me from evolving into my real truth.
I was not aware of all this till much later in my life, when I started studying the ssoa’s materials and joined the group mastery program. Up until this time I was comfortably unaware of all the identity roles that one plays as well as all of the associated programs and machinery. I now see that the majority of my life was highly mechanized and that I was never actually in my own sovereign truth.
Once I began to release the cords of attachment and the identity machines, I could feel different parts of my body. I felt a lot of pain. For now the energy was no longer stagnant but flowing. My body was releasing the pain from the mechanization and bringing in retrieved body information as well as consciousness and soul as the machinery was released.
All while this was happening I felt lost, I never really had a truth of my own and now I didn’t even have the machinery to belong to a part of something else. I was in some kind of limbo where I no longer felt I belonged to my family, the tribe or anything else. So, I turned to ssoa and I made ssoa my truth, then I turned to the ancestors and I made them my truth, then I turned to my ascending group and made them my truth. I was still looking to others outside of myself to be my truth.
One day, I had to ask myself: Are you a truth bearer or not? I began to seriously question if I was meant to map carve or if I even had the right lineages. I was in doubt as to what my truth was and I was in fear of going back to life that I could no longer participate in.
Now many other life changes had happened as well in other areas of my life, all related and in support of my ascension. I had moved 3times and was on my 4th move (all within the same year). In ascension, there is continual change and I am lucky enough to be able to move about without having to worry about children or a family as I am single and have no children.
During this year of moving I uncovered layer after layer of all that would prevent me from retrieving and keeping my truth. I was able to gather up large unconscious pieces of my self (also a part of my truth) that I was was in great fear of in the past but was now capable of integrating. I found that I could now release more layers of cords of old sticky attachments to family and the tribe that I could not release before.
I had lost my truth in so many ways to so much outside of myself that it seemed that I would never recover it all and I even found that I had karma for giving away my truth. So even though I might have retrieved it, I would end up losing it again! I began to understand that recovering my truth was a continuous process as each layer of karma, thought form, and patterns were revealed and then transcended and forgiven completely. Only then would my truth stay with me and become internalized within my truth core.
Your truth resides within the body in the core of the body about where the spine is and runs throughout your body from the top of your head to your feet, above the head is your connection to source and below your feet is your grounding. When you are not in your truth it is literally gone and often there is something else there, perhaps the truth of another or a mix of many others truth.
One of the larger lessons for me this past year was learning to stand in my truth and not allow another to have my truth out of co-dependent thought form. There was an individual who I had known along time and the karma between our ancestries was that my ancestry often gave their sweet dream and truth unto this person’s ancestry. This included my ancestral truth. As a result this person had a great deal of my truth and believed that they were to ascend and teach. This was actually my truth, which had I given away to them, to “help them out”. This person made vast life changes founded upon my truth and I began to become ill and eventually would have died, as this was the karmic dance of our ancestries.
As I decided to retrieve my truth and forgive the karma completely, the situation changed with the other individual and they are now going to have to retrieve their own truth back or continue to live a non-truth. The choice is up to them.
As I continue to ascend into my truth I can see the external changes all around me, reflecting back to me my truth within. I am grateful for the gift of my truth, which is to ascend as far as I can in this lifetime. I intend it be so! Ho!
May you find your truth,
Jenny, Ahamala
Jenny offers one to one ascension consultations and can be reached at ahhamala@yahoo.com
HOME | Nature Articles | Affiliate Articles
Copyright 2007 Jenny Martin